The Next Generation
Books suck! Buy One!
We all know that the world hates trees, and books are the best way to aid in the battle against mother fucking nature. Please, do your part.
Excerpts
The book covers basic to complex principles of art, humorously, then tackles the good parts of art history.
Design Principle: Focal Point
"LOOK AT ME! A focal point is usually near the center of the composition, and is the subject of the piece of art that draws your eye. It's the attention whore, the James Franco, if you will, of the artwork in question."
~ pg 45
Color Theory
"I once heard blue tell purple to, 'Come at me bro!' and purple, standing there looking nonplused replied. 'Whatevs.' Of course the line between 'cool' and 'douchebag' is a thin one indeed."
~ pg 23
Book Pricing
How did we price this book? We just guessed.
Beginner
Advanced
$31.42
- the book and stuff
- even more of my gratitude
- access to my blog*
*yes, I know it's already free
Master
Don’t take our word for it
"This book saved my life. Literally.
I was laughing so hard I coughed up a tumor."
Ryder Richards
artist, educator, cultural critic
Frequently Not Asked Questions
Will this book make me proficient in Spanish?
Yes. Our immersive training regimen includes a Babble fish.*
*Hitchhiker's Guide, bitches!
Why are we all here? What's the meaning of life?
Because. 42.
Read my book and find out.
How can I get your autograph?
You can meet me at any of my international speaking events, and if you are willing to fight through the throng of young Japanese boys who worship me I will sign your forehead.
Is there a button I can click to find info about your EVENTS?
Yes.
If I had a hammer…
"I'd hammer in the morning.
I'd hammer in the evening.
I'd hammer you into the ground."
~ Abraham Lincoln